


A Broken Heart

by ChildsBloodBath



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:13:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26151691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChildsBloodBath/pseuds/ChildsBloodBath
Relationships: Female Hawke/ Fenris





	A Broken Heart

The sun faded after a long day, Serenity Hawke had been back at her mansion for hours. Pacing about the floor as she fiddled with her thumbs. Varric watched her with a slight chuckle as she began biting down on her lower lip. “He is fine Hawke, Broody is stronger than you think” Varric murmured as he began writing with his pen. A grin forming as he began to fall to his thoughts.

Varric is right, but Why would he just run off like that? I pray to andraste that he is alright… 

Before she knew it she was requested at the entranceway. Her eyes widened with hope as she dashed off in that direction, sliding down the railing of the stairs. She stumbled as she jumped off but then slowed herself to a walk. She didn't want Fenris to know she was extremely worried.  
***  
As she walked up Fenris stood up, removing himself from the bench in which he sat on, waiting for her. “I've been thinking about what happened with Hadriana” He spoke with a deep voice as he moved his hand up to rub his chin. “I took my anger out on you, undeservedly. So I was not myself. I'm sorry” As he said those words his eyes softened to a puppy eye look which made Hawke smile.

He is apologizing?

“Fenris…” Hawke shook her head slightly with a frown. “I had no idea where you went. I was concerned...more than you could ever imagine” her voice faded to almost nothing. She was happy to see him but was so worried she just wanted to wrap her arms around him and never let go. Fenris turned his head away a tiny bit with sorrow “I needed to be alone.” He turned on his heel and walked a few steps away as he had a snarky tone “When I was a slave, Hadriana was a torment. She would ridicule me, deny my meals, pound my sleep.” He raised his gaze up as Hawke just stood silently listening, “Because of her status I was powerless to respond.” He instantly turned his head back to face her with a glare “And she knew it. The thought of her slipping out of my grasp now, I couldn't let her go. I wanted too but I couldn't.”  
Hawke lightened her tension as she vocalized just loud enough for him to hear her “What do you mean?” Fenris didn't hesitate to give her a response “This hate, I thought I have gotten away from it. But it dogs me no matter where I go. To feel it again, to know that it was they who planted it inside me. It was too much to bear. Ah, but I didn't come here to burden you further.” Fenris turned to head out with a sigh. Quickly Hawke touched his arm “You don't need to leave Fenris.” As her hand made contact with his skin the marking began to glow a bright blue. Fenris growled with a glare as he whipped around, pushing her against the wall with a thud. Still holding her, he softens his gaze as he made eye contact with her. She was afraid and he could tell just by the look in her dark green eyes.  
They stare at one another for a long moment before Hawke swiftly moved her arms around him and kissing him deeply. Fenris was shocked but made little effort to stop her as his eyes widened. She turned them around and forced him against the wall. She pressed her body against his as her hands were upon the wall and her lips were back to hugging his. Fenris placed his hands upon her hips gently as he returned her kiss, just slowly melting away with her passion and love.

***  
Hawke glanced to her side to notice Fenris was no longer there. Her head quickly turned the other way to catch him standing by the fire with his gaze locked on it, fully clothed. Sitting up she sighed softly with sorrow “Was it really that bad?” hearing the sweet sound of her voice he turned around. Shit… “I-I’m sorry. I-It’s not… it was fine” his stutters were indicating that something was clearly wrong. Hawke glanced away with a grimace. “No, that is insufficient. It was better than anything I could ever dream.” Hawke batted her eyes as she spoke with caution “Your...your markings. They hurt don't they?” Fenris paused as he stared to the ground nervously. “It's not that...I began to remember. My life before, just flashes” he paced to the end of the bed then turned back to face Hawke. “It's too much, this is too fast. I can not do this” his voice increased slightly in volume. “F-Fenris...please don't do This. We can work this out, I promise it will be alright” Tears began to form within Hawke's eyes. Her voice cracking as she fought off the urge to burst. He turned his head, unable to look her in the eyes anymore knowing he is hurting her. “I-I’m sorry...I feel like such a fool. All I wanted was to be happy. Just for a little while…” he quickly began walking out “Forgive me.” Just like that, he was gone. Hawke grasped her chest feeling as if her heart was just torn from her body, tears streamed down her cheeks as her long braided brown hair fell to cover her eyes. She dropped to her bed, burying her face within her pillow as she sobbed for her heartbreak… Crying herself back to sleep. Fenris listened from outside the door till the echoing sobs faded to silence. Then he sighed as he headed out, leaving back to his place for the remainder of the night. 

***  
Days past on by and Hawke had still not shown her face to anyone...not since that night, Fenris left her. Anders paced about as the others sat there in silence. Fenris had a bottle of wine in his hand. The fifth that morning. Anders whipped towards Fenris with a snarky tone “This is all you damn fault Elf!” Fenris stood up in haste as he growled: “How is this my fault mage?!?!” Anders scoffed lightly with a sarcastic laugh. “Are you really that naïve? Hawke is in love with you, she has been since the beginning and you have done nothing but hurt her. I don't see why she is into you. I would never leave her, she doesn't deserve that kind of treatment” he crossed his arms with a frown. Fenris clenched his fists tightly and began to glow with anger “Do you think I wanted to leave her? Why am I even trying to explain myself to your mage, you know nothing of love.”  
“Oh, but a slave like you does?” Anders responded but was not very careful. Fenris leaped at him and had him by the throat as Hawke pulled him off. “Hawke?” Fenris frowned as he knew he was gonna be in for it. “What in the voids name were you thinking? I understand you hate mages but this is a bit extreme. Especially since my sister is a mage” She glared at him. Her heart was pounding within her chest, 

Maker...it hurts so much. 

“Hawke, you dare defend these mages! They are dangerous” His voice was choking up. He was going to regret this later...he just knew it.  
“And so are you! I'm dangerous too but guess what we are still here like everyone else...I can believe you right now Fenris. What happened to the caring man I came to know and love?” with those words Fenris turned on his heel and marched away. “Good riddance to him” Anders smirked with triumph till Hawke whipped around and full-on slapped him. “And how dare you! You had no right to speak to him that way. And calling him a slave! You gave some nerve” Hawke spoke with frustration as her body trembled. “He left you, Hawke, I would never do that. He has hurt you and doesn't deserve your love” Anders reached out for her hand but she pulled it away. “Get out!” Hawke moved back to her room and Anders stood in shock but didn't disobey her demand. The others went their own ways for the time being to let the situation calm and settle down. 

~Three years later~  
“You don't have to stay in this pit anymore you know, not that you haven't fixed it up” Varric gestured with his hands. The place was barely good enough to live in but Fenris manages. Aveline raised a very concerned brow with a disgusted tone “It is falling apart, and my ability to keep it unnoticed is coming to an end.” Fenris listened to them with respect. No anger or hurt in his eyes anymore. “I appreciate what you've done Aveline” he spoke gratefully. 

It has allowed me to stay near Hawke for so many years… 

“But you're staying? You could go anywhere now!” Varric sighed softly. He was extremely talented for stating the obvious. This grew on Fenris’ nerves now. “Perhaps I don't wish to go anywhere.” He turned his head with frustrations. Varric grew quiet as he turned to leave right behind Aveline “Freedom must be a terrible burden. I guess” with those last words Hawke entered the room with a sigh. She knew Fenris had nowhere to go but the others didn't seem to care. Not like she did. Fenris dropped his head and exhaled as he let words form “They just don't understand.” Hawke took a seat across from him as she listened to him. “Yes, I am free. Denarius is dead. Yet...it doesn't feel like it should.” he brought his gaze up to meet hers, so serious…  
“You thought killing him would solve everything, but it doesn't “ she replied with her hands resting in her knees. Her hair seemed to be more in her eyes than usual. Was she still upset about everything? He frowns slightly “I suppose not. I thought that if I didn't need to run and fight to stay alive, I would finally be able to live life the way a free man does. But how is that? Whatever past I had died with my sister. I have nothing now--not even an enemy.”  
“Maybe that just means nothing is holding you back now…” Those words sent a pain through her heart. 

Not true you doof. You have me if you'd just open your eyes. 

Fenris gave it a thought “Hmmmm, an interesting thought. It's just… difficult to overlook the stain that magic has left on my life. If I seem bitter it is not without cause. Perhaps it is time to move forward. I just don't know where that leads. Do you?” His question caught her off guard but she smiled slightly and answered honestly “Where it leads I just hope it means we stay together…” For the first time in forever, Fenris smiled. “That is my hope as well.” He dropped his head down with a slight frown “We've never discussed what happened between us three years ago.” Hawke turned away slightly as she fiddled her thumbs, something she did when she worried. “You said you didn't want to talk about it so I left it at that.”  
“I felt like a fool, I thought it better if you hated me-I deserve no less. But it isn't better” he stood up and moved toward her with a serious tone and gaze. The closer he was the harder this was on her. Her heartfelt as if it were to explode by just simple touch. “That night...I remember your touch as if it were yesterday. I should have asked for your forgiveness long ago. I hope that it's not too late. Can you forgive me?” He stood above her and she couldn't hold back a smirk.

Damn it Varric...I hate it when he's right. 

“I need to understand something...why did you leave Fenris?” He lowered his gaze as he sighed “I thought about the answer a thousand times. The pain, the memories it brought up...it was too much.” He began to snarl four words as his head turned away “I was a coward.” His head gazes about the room as he continued to speak “If I could go back I would stay and tell you how I felt.” Hawke raised a brow “And what would that be Fenris?” His eyes met hers as his tone softened “Nothing could be worse than the thought of living without you.” Hawke smiled with relief. She felt herself being lifted from her sorrow and she was grateful “I'm glad to have you back Fenris...I've missed you so much.” Fenris leans over her and smirks “If there is a future to be had, I’d gladly walk it by your side.” Hawke stood up with tears she quickly pulled him in and kissed him deeply. He returned her kiss with their tongues dancing beside each other. It was a feeling they both were longing for. Hawke pulled away for a moment, just inches away from his face “I love you Fenris.” Fenris had never had those words said to him. He smiled “And I you.” He took her waist pulling her closer as he sent a shower of kisses her way. 

***  
Corypheus was finally defeated at last. So many years Hawke spent fighting...She nearly forgot what was most important to her, Fenris. “Hawke…” Fenris smiled. He prayed Hawke would make it and it came true. His love stood in front of him. She just gave him a loving gaze, taking one step to him before collapsing to the ground. “Hawke!” He dashed over, power sliding to on the ground as he pulled her into his arms. She groaned softly in pain, only worsening as the hours ticked by.  
Fenris paced the floor, hands behind his back as the blonde mage of Justice was in Hawke’s room. Attempting to see what the problem was, especially when she left the battle with no injures. Moments past and the mage finally appears from the room, a devastating grimace on him as he closed the door behind him with a CLICK. Fenris' eyes met Anders with worry.  
“It seems Hawke will not be doing anything, quite possibly again. She has a severe sickness that even I can not heal. She has the Black Plague” The mage sighed softly. He didn't feel horrible for Fenris but because he loved Hawke, but bit his tongue since the outburst some time again with the almost brawl. Fenris clenched his fists till they were a ghost white. A snarky tone escaped him, not because the mage had no power to heal her but out of hurt because she would die…”What do you mean you can't heal her! You are a mage, it is your job to heal those is it not? You have your clinic for a reason!”  
“Even so, justice does not have the power in him. If he even does have the power in him he is refusing to let me. I am just sorry that Hawke had to put up with you with her last strength. You couldn't even tell that something was wrong with her” he scuffed with a shake of his head. As angry as the elf was, he somehow knew that he was right. 

How could I have not noticed sooner? Damnit! I am sorry Hawke, you deserve better than me...Forgive me. 

“I recommend seeing Hawke soon, who knows how much time she will have...I'll tell the others. Especially Varric, He is going to be the hardest to tell” Anders sighed softly as he walked off. The sound of his feet hitting the ground echoed through the mansion and the further he was the more it faded away. Fenris clenched his fists, he wanted to see Hawke so badly but he was afraid. Afraid that if he had seen her he wouldn't want to let go...it would make it so much more difficult to say Goodbye. 

I have too...otherwise she will never forgive me. 

He quickly took in a deep breath then exhaled with a sigh. Turning upon his heel he headed to Hawke’s quarters. KNOCK KNOCK! That's what echoed as he hit his hand on the wooden door for her to know he was coming in. Before she could say anything she began to have a cough attack it would seem. His eyes met hers with great worry. Her skin was so pale, she was sweating from a fever, and she had no strength to talk...well barely. “F-Fenris, I'm...glad you...are here” she manages to gasp out. It was broken apart but he knew what she was saying. He didn't say a word. What is there to say? The love of his life is going to die and he has no way to save her. “Fenris?” She raised a brow with concern. She didn't think she did anything wrong...but she never knew with him. “Hawke...You have to fight this. I can't lose you” he lowered his eyes as he fought back the tears. 

I have to be strong...it's for her. She can't see me like this.  
“Fenris…” she sighs softly as she took his callused hand into hers. She didn't want things to end this way but you can't control life. “I need you to know...this is not your fault. It is just a tragic thing” and before she could finish she was cut off by him. “A tragic thing that wouldn't happen to you! You don't deserve this Hawke! You always risk your life for others...for once I just don't want you to leave…” Tears began to stream down his tenter skin and his markings glowed their usual bright blue. “I understand what you are saying Love but we can't control this. It is way out of our hands. The maker chooses who lives and who dies, who suffers, and so on” She took her hand and lightly placed it under his chin, his gaze met her eye to eye. “This is a time to say goodbye, not forever but at least for now Fenris. I promise, in another life, we will meet again” She whispers only inches from his lips. Their foreheads touching gently as she cried softly.  
Fenris couldn't help it, he had to feel her touch at least one last time. He brought his lips to hers, passion flowing through his veins as he luxurious kissed her back with his desires. She sealed her eyes in bliss. She repaid him with her own kiss. Tongues dancing side by side, the dance of love.  
***  
A week had passed since they all discovered Hawke’s condition. Each moment she worsened. Coughing up blood as her temperature rises. Fenris had been drinking away his pain while Anders just grumbled about him being a disgrace and how he didn't deserve Hawke. Varric hadn't written anything since the incident, all inspiration just vanished along with hope. Eventually, the coughing had stopped echoing the halls. It was quite concerning so Fenris had set his Antivan Brandy down on the table and headed up to check on Hawke. Being in the same room had been too hard on them all. They had cared for her, whether in love or a very close friendship.  
“Hawke? Are you feeling…” his eyes widened with sorrow as he dashed in with stomps to be beside his love? He checked for her pulse but nothing. Listening for her sweet breath but...nothing. “No...No! Hawke!” Fenris whimpered as he cried uncontrollably. The others listened to his cries and knew that Hawke was finally gone. That was a day everyone dreaded but Fenris… He couldn't bear the pain left in his heart. Aveline came up to the room, kneeling beside the sobbing elf with a comforting hand upon his back. “I am sorry for your loss Fenris, but we can't leave her here...she will start to decay and it would attract unwanted animals to the Hawke’s home. Bethany will help bury her when you are ready.” Fenris shook his head with determination as if Hawke would sit awake at any moment. 

Maybe she is jesting it. She always did like jokes… 

His head raised to her as if she would be sitting up but nothing. She laid there motionless and stiff, cold skin and her breathing gone with no pulse. That was the end of Serenity Hawke...Or so they thought.  
***  
The day came to bury her and she was dressed in a beautiful silken velvet gown with her brunette hair braided so nice with Holly twisted within it. Fenris wore a noble suit with no shoes. The ribbon Hawke had given him was tied on his wrist. He hadn't removed it since the day he has gotten it.  
Varric waltzed into the room, a sorrowful grimace on his face as he reached them. He could nearly smell the Ale on Fenris’s breath a mile away. “You know if you are having a guest you shouldn't drink. The smell is so strong it will send them running in tears” He spoke in a sarcastic tone. He tried to lighten the mood but it only caused the white hair elf to glare in his direction. “Sorry, I don't mean offense Fenris. I just figured I could try to cheer you up. You're not the only one who misses her you know” he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “None of you loved her as I did...you'll never understand how I feel” he quickly grabbed his chest as he choked up. Each time a small piece of his heart broke and eventually he would no longer feel anything. Just an empty space of his past life. “Look broody, we all loved Hawke. Anders loved her just as much as you did but she chooses you. Don't you think he is broken?” Varric scoffed lightly at the elf. He could be so stubborn. “Don't you dare say that! That mage has no right to be weeping over her. He could have saved her but didn't so he can live with that damn grieve” Fenris pointed to Hawke’s limp body and instantly she sat up with a coughing gasp for air.  
Both the men's eyes widened in trauma. She gripped her chest as she breathed as if it were all just a giant nightmare. “W-what is wrong Fenris? Varric?” She questioned very puzzledly. “Hh-Hawke?” Fenris dropped his bottle of liquor and it SHATTERED as he dashed to her. His arms tightly around her before she knew it. She returned his hug with a smile as Varric just stared dumbfounded. “Fenris, what is wrong? Did I miss something?” She questioned more with curiosity when he cried on her shoulder. “Hawke, as amazing as it is seeing you. Not even five minutes ago you had no pulse. You were dead….you have been for three weeks now...how are you alive?” Varric stuttered at the sight. He sees it but didn't believe it. Hawke didn't know how she was alive but she had a good idea, but Varric was not a person who needed to know. He would make it into a story and then there goes that secret. “It's a miracle “ she shrugged as she squeezed Fenris‘s hand. He leaned over, laying kisses along her jaw and neck. Varric snickered at this “Clearly that is my cue to scram. We can talk later Hawke, for now, be with broody here.”  
Hawke smirked as she flipped them opposite so she was on top, pinning him to the table with a giggle. “I should confess something Fenris...I really shouldn't be alive. I was dead like you both said but I remember going towards the light when I was pulled back by a spirit. He is why I am living…” She whispered in hopes he wouldn't be angry with her. He only sat up, his arms still wrapped around her. Her left hand on his chest as her right ran through his white hair and stopped upon his neck. “Hawke, I do not care how you are alive. As long as you are here with me” he wrapped his arms around her waist firmly. Never wanting to let her go. Not again…  
Hawke smiled, his hair is so soft...eyes gleamy...I just want to… Before she knew it her lips were pressed up against his. A very affectionate kiss that she nearly melted away. Fenris pulled her body close as their lips met. 

Maker I've missed this...her touch is just like before, only with more love. 

He closed his eyes as he let her have her way with him there where she was an angel sent for him...to protect a precious thing that she loved.  
~The End~


End file.
